Forgiveness; the Price of Life

O you who have believed, why do you say what you do not do? Great is hatred in the sight of God that you say what you do not do. (61 [As-Saff ]:2-3)

I wrote before about 'Embracing Change', and I preached a lot and thought that I am wise and strong enough to give advice to others. I know now that it is utter arrogance and ignorance. I thought that when change comes knocking next time that I would be ready and prepared to implement all the things I have been saying, which though seemingly right and beautiful, are definitely very hard to actually do. Very soon afterwards, I was sent a test by God, which I’ve totally failed! It was like, here you go, you talk so well, prove it! And I could not prove it, I admit. I was humbled by knowing how easy it is to talk while you are not in the midst of the struggle.

So, this time, I will not be as foolish as before, and I will descend the podium. I will not say what I cannot do. Allow me this time to talk about the concept of forgiveness, without preaching.

Forgiveness; such an easy word to say, it passes on the heart with a soothing effect that is so pleasant. It is very tempting to advise others to forgive and forget; don't we all want God to forgive our sins? Then this is a very good reason to start forgiving others ourselves. Yes, true, I agree. I kept on reading about forgiveness in the Qur'ān, and although I was very convinced, yet I still could not bring my heart to do it. A particular verse, in An-Nūr chapter (the light), moved me deeply,:
"...and let them pardon and overlook. Would you not like that God should forgive you? And God is Forgiving and Merciful." (24 [An-Nūr]:22)
However, when you have been deeply hurt, you will not find this in any way possible to do, even if you desperately seek God's forgiveness. Sometimes anger stiffens the heart and gives you an illusionary feeling of strength that allows more fire to burn inside and bitterness to fester and totally take over your thinking. With more anger, disappointment, and lack of relief, we harbour more darkness and negativity. Sometimes we choose not to forget, to keep the pain alive, we choose not to forgive, as a silent way of avenging for our wounds.

It is so sad to watch how we sometimes make the wrong choices, carrying such heavy hearts loaded with bitterness and an inability to forgive. Despite being ordinary people who are inherently good, we allow dispute to break us apart and ruin even the good memories that used to be. We start to feel paralyzed, unable to make things better, because of the great pain, wronging, and abuse we've been exposed to. Sometimes, we might wish things were not as bad as they were, yet remain crippled with our wounds. I have seen when death approaches, how every angry memory just fades away. How foolish it is when life is that short to give up on people and surrender. But when you can do nothing, when words lose their meanings and promises lose their glow, when you are the one who has been wronged, what shall you do? You will have to go on and work on your heart. If you are a strong person, you will not surrender to the destructive thought of revenge. Yet, you stand in a fork, with two paths ahead. In both roads life will go on, as it always does. So, you can either walk on thorns that you keep watering, or save yourself.

For a while, I have chosen the first thorny path. I became so different from the one I used to be, like a butterfly that cannot fly anymore after her wings had been touched. I could no longer have the ability to embrace life with open arms or be the joyous person I used to be, I felt so incomplete. Even after getting over the sense of loss, something inside seemed to have been broken. It is no more the wronging that keeps nagging; it is this precious lost part of me that hurts the most. It is when I lost trust, when beauty became colourless, because I am no longer… myself. With a New Year unfolding, I wished I could start with a clear heart that has no memory. Yes life goes on, in whatever shape or form, but even when it does go on, we continue to keep our wounds bleeding by stepping barefooted on the poisoned wreckage of our own hearts. Then I discovered that for me to lead a normal life, I have to get rid of the bitterness that is darkening my heart. It keeps growing pushing away all the light in its way, making everything looking bleak and colourless. I realized that for me to go on, I have to forgive first. I have to shatter the bitterness that is ruining me. Such darkness is smothering me, and I cannot carry it anymore. I choose to save myself. I do not want my heart to dry out. I do not want to end up with a heart of stone. I do not want Satan to win over me in this battle. I do not want any more loss.

"Has the time not come for those who have believed that their hearts should become humbly submissive at the remembrance of God" (57 [Al-Hadīd]:16)

"Then why, when Our punishment came to them, did they not humble themselves? But their hearts became hardened, and Satan made attractive to them that which they were doing." (6 [Al-An'ām] :43)

Forgiveness is very hard to reach. It takes more strength than love does. It is easy to be angry; fire can eat up a whole forest in seconds, but it takes so long to put it out, and takes much longer to grow the forest back. We should learn how to reconcile with ourselves. If others do not appreciate you, learn to appreciate yourself first. If they have wronged you, do not wrong yourself by allowing bitterness to ruin your heart. Forgive others, for your own sake; for the light to befriend your heart again, for warmth to replace coldness, for beauty to overcome ugliness. God is Merciful, yet He is Just. Nothing goes down the drain, when things are left totally for Him to judge. I have learnt that anger is not strength. What takes more courage is to conquer your fear and beat your anger; to truly believe in God's comforting light, and that He will guide us throughout the journey.

"And be patient, [O Muammad], for the decision of your Lord, for indeed, you are in Our eyes. And exalt [God] with praise of your Lord when you arise." (52 [At-Tūr]:48)

"If you pardon and overlook and forgive - then indeed, God is Forgiving and Merciful."
(64 [At-Taghabun]:14)

Blindness

One of the biggest tests in life is losing one's eyesight. Not being able to see the world and to constantly live in darkness… well I expect this to be extremely hard. May God reward all those who were afflicted with this calamity, yet endure it with patience.

What is even more perplexing, for me, is another kind of blindness, that is even graver and harder to understand. It is when people have eyes that can see, yet they are blind. I found the answer to my bewilderment in a verse from the Qur'an that says what can be translated as: "So have they not travelled through the earth and have hearts by which to reason and ears by which to hear? For indeed, it is not eyes that are blinded, but blinded are the hearts which are within the chests ."

When you think of people who see God's marvellous creation without being able to realise the Greatness of the One who has created all this beauty in all these most innovative and complex forms, you simply wonder how blind man can get. Or those who fall into despair, lose faith, or go to the extreme of ending their lives because of a problem they are facing, forgetting about the rest of the abundance their Lord has given them. People sometimes simply throw away God's blessings, turning their hearts into cruel stones that cannot appreciate or remember. Other people can be blinded by money, power, or any other earthly pleasure, and never feel content with whatever they get since they are always busy running after more and more, leaving behind the simple pleasures and the true meanings of life. Such people's hearts become blind when they stop appreciating God's goodness in their lives.

Even stone can be tenderer than man's heart when it becomes blind, God says: "Then your hearts became hardened after that, being like stones or even harder. For indeed, there are stones from which rivers burst forth, and there are some of them that split open and water comes out, and there are some of them that fall down for fear of Allah. And Allah is not unaware of what you do ". Blind hearts would only allow a colourless life that is cold and dark, with blessings becoming insignificant. How is it possible to deliberately lead such a miserable life? Poor indeed is the one who sees God's bounties yet fails to cherish them.

I always ponder upon this verse, it never fails to move me: "They have not estimated Allah His true estimate; while the earth entirely will be [within] His grip on the Day of Resurrection, and the heavens will be folded in His right hand. Exalted is He and high above what they associate with Him." I seek refuge in God from having a blind heart. May He bless us with sound hearts. Let us pray that we never fall short of appreciating the Greatness, Omnipotence, and Mercy of our Lord.

Milestones of the Heart III: Addiction

In the past posting, Milestones of the Heart I, we started discussing our personal weaknesses in the gray area where right and wrong are questionable. On our long path, leaving behind the darkness of clear sin, and moving ahead to the brightness of the light of purity, we reach this middle area of the heart, where weakness is individualised. Each of us has their own flaws that hinder us from advancing. In this article, we are going to explore one kind of these flaws that spreads over a wide gray area. This time we will talk about addiction.

Addiction as we know it is the chronic exposure to a certain substance that results in a fake and temporary feeling of happiness, zeal, or relaxation (etc.). Getting used to such a behaviour leads to physical and/or psychological dependence. Deprivation or Stopping this behavioural disorder exposes the addict to various types of suffering, usually of a high emotional intensity in the forms of irritation, anger, depression, etc. In moments of revelation, when the addict is partially free from the overwhelming effect of the addicted substance, a mixed feeling of love-hate is usually aroused. This complex feeling is when a person loves another person/object, but hates oneself for it or feels ashamed of such dependence.

Addiction is not only of narcotics or alcohol. As civilised people, who are expected to know better, we can fall for addiction without noticing. Any extreme attachment ranging from being too attached to concepts, hobbies, food, habits, important figures, friends and close ones, can legitimately be labelled as types of addiction. When any sort of activities or behaviours is becoming harmful, starting to have a drastic and overwhelming effect on you, or causes psychological dependence that deprives you from leading a normal life with the absence of this factor, be honest with yourself; know that you are becoming an addict.

There are various factors that determine the probability of falling into the pit of addiction, and for falling for one kind of addiction rather than others. Addiction is the result of a character flaw, and consequently the type of addiction that is most probable is determined by this particular weakness. Other factors like age, social and cultural surroundings are recognised as determining causes of addiction.

Leaving aside this scientific introduction, and looking at the situation from a rather personal angle, let us put our hands on our defects. Let us first see how we can look ourselves in the eye, and see where our addiction might be hiding. We might be conscious of our weak points, but at other times they may be hidden inside and we usually fear to unlock them lest they take over and lead our lives. In order to get to the bottom of it, we need to first know where our problem is coming from. To do so, let us name all our passions and interests, be that time one spends with a favoured friend, loyalty to a football team, overwhelming passion towards a certain person, attachment to one's job, shopping, online surfing, gaming, eating, etc. Each of us knows, even if we do not think about it, but we do know, what our favoured things are.

Then we need to ask ourselves some questions. On a scale of priorities, what comes first? Put in mind that you should also include your other important priorities, like you family life, your job, your spiritual life, etc. How do you feel when you do your favoured thing? What happens to you when it ends abruptly, when it is late or unavailable for some reason? Generally, does it affect your mood, relations and life pattern? Do you suspend anything else, when it comes to your favoured thing? Does other people think you are exaggerating in favouring this particular person/ activity? Do you think your attachment to it is justified? Do you feel it is out of your hands sometimes and that you have no control on how you feel or behave? Most importantly, what would happen to you if you lose this favoured thing?

The first key to change is self-knowledge. God has created man free. We imprison ourselves in our passions and allow them to lead our minds and determine our actions. We allow our obsessions to torture us, and we have no one else to blame but ourselves. Changing is not easy, but sometimes it cannot be escaped. Addiction is usually accompanied by bad temper, pain and floppy moods, and it can go to the extreme of self destruction. Even if our favoured things are legitimate and lawful and beautiful, with extremity we turn them into ugly wrong deeds. We simply destroy the emotional balance that allows us to appreciate the other facets of happiness, by putting too much stress on one factor taking from the emotional reserve that should be distributed between other lawful pleasures and priorities. There is no wonder then that Islam orders us to be moderate in everything we do. The path of moderation protects us from falling in the pit of extremism that is naturally catastrophic.

If we move on to the spiritual aspect of this issue we will have to stop at a very important concept; our relationship with God. In order to realise the concept of faith, one's heart should normally be directed towards God's love as the utmost reason for living. The very reason why we were ordered to love God and His Prophet more than anything or anyone in the world is absolute mercy. This is because God would never turn you down. Worshipping Him is not of a momentary effect or a fading pleasure. It is the sense of safeness and the resolute belief that He is here to stay, that you would never lose the bond you build with Him Almighty, as long as you are preserving it with all your force. The relationship with God is never ending; the more you give into it the more you take out of it. The endless way of God is also a series of stages and startling discoveries. When you attempt to advance in His way, God takes your hand and draws you near. The amazing part of this rich relationship is that no matter how involved you are in it, this sense of attachment can never harm you. On the contrary, it feeds your soul and lightens your earthly burden.

God is indeed the Ultimate Trustee, whom you can depend on with no fear, whom you can reach out to knowing that He will always be there. Unlike any earthly bond that can end or change or vanish, crushing you with the sense of loss or disappointment. A part of the human nature is to never get enough; we always aspire for more. We try to train ourselves to realise the value of contentment and tame our souls with satisfaction, but it is not always doable. Thus, it all depends on what you want. It is not possible to lock ourselves out of all human relationships or hobbies or interests; it is the degree of importance that really matters. Exaggerated attachment to secular needs leads to more want, where nothing is good enough or even here to stay. On the other hand, you can get attached to the Lord as much as you may, and be sure that you will be overwhelmed with endless light and infinite bounty.

Put your heart on the right track. Do not be an addict of this earth, because we are soon leaving it behind, on our path towards the Ultimate Truth.

Milestones of the Heart - Part II

When you are the salve of your desires you spin around pleasing one need after the other but end up walking on a treadmill that takes you nowhere close to relief. The haunting truth is that instead of feeling fulfilled as you seek those pleasures, you reap nothing but chilling emptiness and utter desolation. When moderation is the key to legitimate delight, an excess drags you to defiling the restless soul imprisoned in that body, whirling like a poor helpless bird banging its frail body against the bars of its cruel cage and lost in its gloom. As we fail to soothe that soul and help it heal, we add salt to its open wounds as we go for temporary pseudo satisfaction. This is how all addictions start, and this is how they keep escalating into uncontainable levels. Poor, very poor, and pathetic indeed are those addicts. They need all possible help and reach out for it instead of digging deep inside to reconnect with their estranged souls. They walk like ghosts with horrid secrets that they carry along on their long path of pain. They keep falling when they stop believing that they still can. They give up on the hope that they are still worthy of the soul that is created to be pure no matter what they do to base it. They refuse to believe that there is good inside and shut their eyes in complete desperation. But we are not allowed to fall into that endless pit of despair. The All-Merciful that created us says in the Qur’aan what is interpreted as, “Do not despair of relief from Allah; surely none despairs of relief from Allah except the disbelieving people.” (Yusuf: 87). We have to believe in the mercy that is bound to come our way if we struggle for it. We are created to be strong and to beat all odds and falling short of that would take us back to crippling frames of thought. The choice here is very clear; to opt for the easy way out and bear the shame, guilt and loathing of over-indulgence or to tread on the rocky way of striving again and again to reach the safe shores of lasting peace and serenity.

Milestones of the Heart - Part I

The path ascending to heaven is of an exceptionally special structure. Its early stages are marked with very clear milestones. It starts with believing in the Oneness of the Lord, to taming man's barbarous inclinations like murder, theft or such extremes, passing through behaving one's fatal desires of lust or greed or addiction. Going across any of these stages can be easily identified by avoiding the wrong deed and adopting the righteous one instead. These stages depend on knowing the truth, having the ability of taking a decision, and committing oneself to it. So it is a matter of enlightenment first, then strength and determination.

However, once these basic areas have been covered in a perfect manner, leaving no traces behind and turning into commonsense concepts, one would move into a plain area with hidden markers. No definite milestones to head to or even point to as a guiding light. Reaching the area of the heart is the hardest of all the previous stages. Deciding to pray and committing oneself to it is one hard thing, but perfecting the prayer and reaching a high state of humbleness during prayer is another thing. Stopping practicing what is prohibited by the Lord can be difficult, but it cannot be compared to elevating oneself above the level of the body; the clay, and reaching to the level of the soul; the light.

It is even harder to put one's hand on the defect in such a stage. Knowing that you already avoid all that is clearly sinful leaves no place for clarity and assurance. You have to dig deeper, and aim higher. Being taken away in the hectic everyday life of work and family, with rituals becoming more like habits, just like waking up, washing one's face or driving to work, is indeed more challenging, that is if we stop to think about it for a change! To avoid major sins, or what we think of as major sins, is a lot more easier than to know one's personalised defects; those of the heart. Knowing one's weakness, knowing where things go wrong, where priorities bounce and boundaries seem uncertain, is where no milestones are within reach to cling to. It is where things are flexible and elastic, and left to your own judgment, ethical standards, and ways of heart.

At such a stage, defining your own milestones is the key to advancing. Standing in the vast untrodden area of the heart can lead to frustration and disappointment. However, no one can guide you to be a better person or to have a purer heart, because no one knows you deep inside like you know yourself. Enlightenment, being the first milestone, is when you know yourself. Monitoring one's behaviour, measuring one's responses and reactions, and putting one's hand on the bounces of the heart and haziness of the grey in between what is right and what is wrong, though more difficult, are extremely crucial for a milestone to appear. Constructing one's own lighthouse is the clue to certainty and thus advancement.

P.S. please share in your journey with and to your milestones.

To be continued.

{Quick Reflections 34} Heart and Mind

Heart and Mind

As an adolescent I used to think that I think with my “mind” and feel with my “heart”. As I started reading more I learnt that there is the “conscious” and “subconscious” included in the mind. Then the terms “psych” appeared in English and “self” appeared in Arabic. Add to that the always vague “soul”. Later on I learnt that we do not “feel” with the “heart” and that it is actually a self sustaining “pump” that “responded” to different “hormones” and “nervous input” in addition to having its own role in producing certain hormones. Even later I learnt from some true stories that some people who underwent cardiac transplantation had a change of their personality!
Now this was becoming really confusing; who or which is doing what exactly? What do we really know about all these “terms”? Is our knowledge a fact to be taken for granted or do we have some great misconceptions here?

The only way to find an absolute answer is to get the “manual” of these objects and read what it says about them. The “manufacturer” is the “Creator” (SWT) and the “manual” is the “Qur’an” and authentic “Ahadeeth”.

Regarding the “soul” or “spirit” Allah (SWT) says; “And they ask you about the Spirit. Say, “The Spirit is of the Command of my Lord; and in no way have you been brought of knowledge except a little.”(TMQ, 17:85). So I decided to abandon further search on this one.

Regarding the “self” I was content to know that there are 3 forms and what each one does; the “reproaching self”, the “composed self” and the “evil-inclined self”.

Regarding the “psych”, “conscious” and “subconscious”, the scientific explanations did not take into consideration the spirit’s role but gave precise chemical and electrical recordings of “what” is going on and “how” but not “why”. On the other hand Allah (SWT) tells us we will not know much about the spirit (which I believe has the answer for the “why”) so that was again another dead end for me.

So what really remained confusing and still are very amazing, subhan Allah, are the heart and mind. They are both mentioned extensively in Divine revelations and are continuously undergoing scientific research.

“The heart is a pump”, “the heart is a pump” was the answer I kept getting from science. What about “…they have hearts with which they do not comprehend, and they have eyes with which they do not behold, and they have ears with which they do not hear. Those are like the cattle; no indeed, they are further in error. Those are they (who are) heedless”(TMQ, 7:179), and “but He will take you to task for whatever your hearts have earned”(TMQ, 2:225) among many other ayat which convey similar or close meanings? Again I was told that these were metaphors.

Now what about “Surely then it is not the beholdings (i.e. the eyes) that (grow) blind, but (it is) the hearts within the breasts that (grow) blind.”(TMQ, 22:46)? This is the only ayah in which it is stressed that it is the “heart within the breasts” that is meant to be mentioned. I could not see the metaphor here.

Surgeons performing heart transplantations are mostly materialistic Westerns or atheists in general so they were not intrigued by the true stories of people having certain changes to their personalities following heart transplantation so that issue remains further uninvestigated.

The definite answer is to be found in the ayah, “The Day when neither money nor sons will profit (anyone), Except for him who comes up to Allah with a sound heart.”(TMQ, 26: 88-89). Also our Beloved’s saying, “Truly in the body there exists a lump of flesh which if is sound the whole body will be sound and if is bad the whole body will be bad, and that (lump of flesh) is the heart.” Now some people might argue that is what really happens when the heart is medically in failure which affects the whole body but the context of the rest of that Hadeeth in which that phrase was mentioned is talking about halal and haram. Accordingly the heart is definitely doing something else other than “pumping blood”, “responding to hormones and nervous input” and “producing certain hormones”.

Now let us move to some real life experience to compare between what each of the heart and mind do. I am sure that each of you had tens of similar experiences like the one I will narrate about myself here.
I always understood with my “mind” the ayah “Say, ‘Surely my prayer, and my rites, and my living, and my dying are for Allah, The Lord of the worlds. No associate has He; and this I am commanded, and I am the first of the Muslims.’ (Literally: of the ones who have surrendered to Allah).”(TMQ, 6: 162-163) but it was not until one day Allah (SWT) willed that I “feel” and “understand” it with my “heart” that I found the great difference between understanding with one’s “heart” and understanding with one’s “mind”. It is also manifested when one wants to feel humility to Allah (TWT). It does not happen when one “logically” understands that meaning and not at any time (to refute some physician’s claim that it is a conditioned reflex that one can train himself to do); one only gets the “true feeling” when Allah (SWT) wills regardless of how much one “wants” to “logically feel it”. And the list goes on.
This also applies to the meanings of words as mentioned in the previous article. That is why one has to take the time and effort to let the “meanings” of “words” sink into his/her heart and not just pass rapidly by his/her mind.

So whenever arrogant human science tells you the heart is just a pump “think” and “feel”, “and in no way have you been brought of knowledge except a little.”(TMQ, 17:85).”

May Allah (SWT) grant us all sound hearts.

{Quick Reflections 33} Inside the Grave

I was 7 years old when my father first took me down with him into an empty grave he was buying. He showed me and my younger brother inside. He told us that this is where we will all end up. Down there we will not take anything with us except our deeds. I saw that for myself at a very young age.
It really helped me later on in life inspite of being an unrelenting rebel to know what are my limits. I learnt that my limits are only those put forward by ALLAAH (SWT) through His Prophet (SAWS) and nothing else.
Even later on when i was around 12 my father explained to me that he brought the grave before buying the house. He explained to me that we are more sure to die than we are to live. That taught me to prioritize my akhirah over my dunya.

My second and third visits to the inside of a grave was later in both my early and late teens. But this time it was different. I was able to grasp more and more the Truth. Following one's personal inclinations in addition to shaytaan are our greatest enemies that will be of no benefit to us down there.
At that young age that is how i saw it. Down there was dark and tight. Down there was very cold and lonely and i am a very outgoing and social person. I don't want to be lonely. The only way to avoid that is to work hard in this life in preparation for the day when one goes there.

May ALLAAH make our graves gardens from paradise.

{Quick Reflections 32} On the Death Bed

I was 21 years old full of vibrant untamed explosive energy that manifested itself in the form of rebelling against everything and everyone except Allaah (TWT), and also reckless driving. Allaah (SWT) willed that I live through a rare experience that lasted for a few seconds. While driving at my then usual 80-100km/hour in the heart of Cairo and during a maneuver to avoid a fatal collision a memory of my whole life with the very fine details flashed infront of my eyes. A few minutes after the incident was over safely I realized that our memories are much stronger than we imagine and never lose a single event that we have lived through. It just requires the suitable stimulus to bring back to life every single second of the past which is stored in our brains.
Now instead of facing that moment again at an unexpected time how about each of us puts him/herself on his/her death bed and think of his/her life. Is there something we regret doing? Is there something we want to change about ourselves? Is there something we wish we did but never actually gave ourselves the chance to do? What if i am to die after 3 days, what are the major decisions that i would make? What are the things that need urgent ammendment or correction? What will i do inorder not to have any regrets concerning my short life on this Earth?

{Quick Reflections 30} The Sound Heart

Last time we mentioned the ayah, “The Day when neither money nor sons will profit (anyone), Except for him who comes up to Allah with a sound heart”(TMQ, 26: 88-89) . That means that our only way out and the key for success on the day of Judgment is having a sound heart. Many people can claim that they have sound hearts but who really has it? Accordingly the issue of knowing the exact definition and criteria of a sound heart is crucial for all of us.

I will quote al-Hasan al-Basry and use his very wise words as a guideline to help us explore the different dimensions of a sound heart. He says, contrary to common knowledge it is not a Hadeeth, “Iman is not achieved by wishful thinking, rather it is what is ‘deeply rooted’ in the ‘heart’ and is affirmed by ‘deeds’”.
The three underlined words in the above quote are the axes around which this little study will proceed.

Definition and criteria of a sound heart:
Linguistically in Arabic the word saleem is derived from the root salam, which means free of any defects. Hence a “sound heart” is a heart with no defects, a heart free of shirk, kofr, envy, deceit, hatred, evil intent, suspicion and hesitancy.
It is a heart that is free from anything except Allah (TWT) and hence Prophet Muhammad (SAWS). Any love to any other one or thing does not “follow” them but is rather “derived” from love to Allah (AWJ) and the Prophet (SAWS).
A sound heart is one that carries the manners of the Qur’an and that is why our Beloved’s (SAWS) manners were the Qur’an, he had the soundest of hearts.
A sound heart is one that has no arrogance in it, “…humble towards the believers, mightily proud towards the disbelievers…”(TMQ, 5:54) .
A sound heart is one that loves all Muslims. It is one that wishes that all people were good Muslims, “…and do not set up in our hearts rancor towards (the ones) who have believed…”(TMQ, 59:10) .
A sound heart is one that not only loves the good for other Muslims and non-Muslims, as our Beloved (SAWS) says, “None of you will have faith until he wishes for his (Muslim) brother what he likes for himself” , but even prefers others to his own self, “but give [them] preference over themselves, even though they are in privation”(TMQ, 59:9)


Nature of the heart:
The heart in general has got a very strange nature. Prophet Muhammad (SAWS) says, “The similitude of the heart is that of a feather in an open space twirled about by the wind” . It is ever changing and is so vulnerable to the extent that our Beloved (SAWS) who has the soundest of all hearts says, “O Allah, You ever changer of hearts make our hearts hold steadfast onto your religion” .

The sahaba’s (companions of the Prophet) hearts and our hearts, that’s where the difference lies:
What is deeply rooted in the heart dictates success and acceptance of deeds in this life and in the hereafter. Hearts –rather than deeds- differ greatly from good to better and better and best and hence the great differences in levels in jannah.
I will explain further. The heart should be the drive for the deeds. The heart leads and the deeds follow. What happens if they are dissociated? Let us examine the different scenarios one by one.

Can the soundness of the heart be much greater and yet the deeds so little? The answer is no. Examine the sahaba’s lives and you will see that they all had great deeds though of different nature. For example Omar Ibnul-Khattab’s (RA) deeds were mostly outspoken and well known while those of Othman Ibn-Affan (RA) were mostly hidden and those of Abu-Bakr (RA) were both. The more the heart is sound the more it propels one to do more good deeds (regardless of the exact type or nature of the deeds). Accordingly a very sound heart equals very great deeds. However the opposite is not true as we will see in the next scenario.

Can the greatness of deeds be much more than the soundness of the heart? The answer is yes.
That is where the hypocrisy, shirk, ‘ojb (when one is proud of his good deeds) and nifaq come in. We all know the following Hadeeth, “The Messenger of Allah (SAWS) said, “Truly on the Day of Judgment, Allah the All-Mighty will descend to the slaves to judge them and every nation will be kneeling. The first of people against whom judgment will be pronounced will be a man who has learnt all the Qur’an, a man who died a martyr and a wealthy man. Allah will say to the Qur’an reciter, ‘Did I not teach you what I revealed upon my Messenger?’ He will say, ‘Yes, my Lord.’ Allah will say, ‘What did you do with your knowledge?’ He will say, ‘I used to recite it around the clock.’ Allah will say to him, ‘You have lied.’ And the angels will say, ‘You have lied.’ And Allah will say to him, ‘You actually wanted it to be said of you: He is a reciter. And so it was said.’ The wealthy one is then brought up. Allah will say, ‘Did I not grant you all kinds of wealth that you may not need anyone?’ He will say, ‘Yes, my Lord.’ Allah will say, ‘What did you do with what I granted you?’ He will say, ‘I used to keep good kinship ties and give charity.’ Allah will say to him, ‘You have lied.’ And the angels will say, ‘You have lied.’ And Allah will say to him, ‘You actually wanted it to be said of you: He is generous. And so it was said.’ Then the martyr is brought up. Allah will say to him, ‘For what sake were you killed?’ He will say, ‘I was ordered to fight for Your sake so I fought until I was killed.’ Allah will say to him, ‘You have lied.’ And the angels will say, ‘You have lied.’ And Allah will say to him, ‘You actually wanted it to be said of you: He is courageous. And so it was said.’” Then Allah’s Messenger hit me on my knees saying, “O Abu-Huraira, these three are the first of Allah’s creatures with whom the Hell-fire will be kindled on the Day of Judgment.”
The third and last scenario is more or less the first scenario but in the opposite direction. The less sound the hearts the less the good deeds and achievements.
We all know as generations are concerned that the generation of the sahaba was the greatest generation ever followed by the following and the following ones. (However on individual basis some people in any generation can be as great or even greater than some of the sahaba). Now why was that generation the best? Because they had the soundest hearts. Comparing our generation to theirs for example, they had much much less means to help them spread Islam than we do yet they did in 30 years what we did not do in hundreds of years. We are mostly very well educated with PhDs and Masters Degrees having certificates of “higher education” with access to the internet and all kinds of media (much more means and even deeds) and they had non of that yet their “achievements” are much more than ours. Now why is that? Again because their hearts were sounder.



How to promote the soundness of your heart:
Here is a 10 point-summary for methods of promoting soundness of one’s heart each of which needs a separate article or study to elaborate upon.
1. Estimation of Allah’s true estimate in one’s heart.
2. Estimation of the hereafter’s true estimate in one’s heart.
3. Observation of the surrounding creation with meditation and learning from history.
4. Living with hope.
5. Persistence on obtaining knowledge and reading.
6. Reading the Qur’an and learning it.
7. Performing the voluntary night prayers (qyam) out of love to Allah (SWT) rather than out of compulsion.
8. Remembrance of Allah (AWJ) all the time along with istighfar, du’aa and continuous repentance.
9. Staying away from sins and bad deeds.
10. True brother/sisterhood in Allah.

Death:
This is actually a point that belongs to the above subtitle but I would like to stress on it on its own due to its very “materialistic” and “touchable” nature and hence great effect in disciplining oneself.
The only sure future event in the life of any of us is death. One has to have this on his/her mind all the time. Our Beloved (SAWS) used to remember death more than 20 times a day.
Now why is that? As previously mentioned the heart is of a very vulnerable nature and is ever changing and is continuously affected by the surrounding environment and the materials of this lowly life. The only materialistic and visible way to tame it and redirect it to arrange its priorities and head for its goal is to continuously remind it of the visible destination, the grave. This way one will always be able to differentiate what is true and what is false, what is to be followed and what is to be left and whom to believe and whom not to believe.

I know of someone very successful in life and very cheerful who after a few years of his marriage bought a grave even before buying an apartment of his own. He even took his less than 10-years old kids down into that grave and told them that this will eventually be any living being’s future. One of these then-kids is one of my best friends now and he knows his priorities very well and is a very cheerful and successful man.

What degrades the heart:
“No indeed, (but) whatever they were earning has overlaid on their hearts”(TMQ, 83:14) . All kinds of sins and bad deeds simply accumulate over the heart and blacken it making it less and less sound to the extent that it might hear the Qur’an and not understand it (as was mentioned previously in “Heart and Mind), have the light and guidance in front of it but not see it and listen to the truth but not recognize it.
Following one’s desires and inclinations is the road to an ill heart and hence failure and hell.

General strategy and conclusion:
From all of the above and especially from the difference between the sahaba’s hearts and our hearts we can conclude that we all need to give much more attention, effort and time to purification of our hearts, more than that we give to “performing” good deeds. We should persistently ask Allah to grant us sound hearts. In our attempt at achieving perfection we should work on the heart first. If we concentrate on that, with time Allah (TWT) will bless our “little” deeds and they will become greater and greater and eventually much more effective and finally more perfect.

May Allah (AWJ) grant us all the soundest of hearts and guide us to reach His utmost content.

References:
 The Noble Qur’an.
 The Prophet’s sunnah (SAWS).
 Life of the sahaba.
 Our life.
 History.
 http://www.islamway.com/?iw_s=Lesson&iw_a=view&lesson_id=35216
 http://www.qaradawi.net/site/topics/article.asp?cu_no=2&item_no=3285&version=1&template_id=104
 http://ar.fgulen.com/a.page/qna/a443.html?PHPSESSID=c9e4929c5b8fd288678828b7f80faaf5
 http://egyamira.tigblog.org/post/38587
 http://www.muslimtents.com/zakihassan/index2.htm
 http://www.islamway.com/?iw_s=Scholar&iw_a=series&series_id=1590
 http://www.islamway.com/?iw_s=Scholar&iw_a=series&series_id=2038
 http://www.islamway.com/?iw_s=Lesson&iw_a=view&lesson_id=36975&scholar_id=361&series_id=2021
 The Ahadeeth team database.
 http://dorar.net/mhadith.asp

Special thanks to our sister who helped me editing the translation of some Ahadeeth.

{Quick Reflections 31} The Sound Heart 2

Again our talk continues around the ayah “The Day when neither money nor sons will profit (anyone), Except for him who comes up to Allah with a sound heart”(TMQ, 26: 88-89) . It is all about the heart. It is all about the heart.

We will live with sound hearts through a couple of stories followed by exploring our own hearts to see how sound they are at this point of time. Last time together we studied the sound heart from a somewhat academic point of view which will be our ongoing reference point.

Stories:
Most of us know the famous story about our Beloved (SAWS) announcing an unknown person who entered the Masjid as one of the residents of jannah. "Abdullaah Ibn "Umar Ibnul-Khattaab (RA) was so curious to know what was this man doing to get that position in spite of him not being one of the famous Sahabah. So he followed him to his home and asked for refuge in his home for three days in order to watch him.
He noticed that he neither prayed extra voluntary prayers nor made voluntary fasting nor was he special in any aspect. After three days he asked him how come the Prophet (SAWS) rejoiced jannah to him. His answer was that he always went to bed at night with his heart feeling having no hard feelings towards any Muslim! It is as simple and difficult as that. On the other hand, many Muslims have a lot of good deeds but their hearts are not sound and have some hardships between each other. Alas, the only condition for jannah is a sound heart. It is all about the sound heart.

I have learnt the following story directly from an old man I have known very well throughout my life.
His father died back in the thirties when he was a few months old. His illiterate mother raised him and his brother, the only 2 to remain alive out of 13 brothers and sisters, very patiently for 40 years. She was illiterate, yet very honest that people of her village used to trust her with their valuable belongings to keep away for them. She was very generous with the poor in spite of being poor herself and never denied any poor person food and temporary shelter again in spite of her modest means. She never had any hard feelings towards anyone, always forgiving, giving and caring.

The day she died her other son who was there narrates that she loudly asked, "Who is that man coming at us?" pointing in a certain direction. All those who were in the room looked there and there was no one there. She then immediately died with a big smile on her face. Most probably that was the angel of death or any other angel she saw immediately before her death.

That now-old man narrated that he was devastated by her death and kept crying for days that he isolated himself from his friends. A few days later he saw his dead mother in a dream (seeing a dead person in a dream is usually a good thing for both parties if both were in a good religious state) very healthy and happy comforting him and asking him to calm down and go out with his friends! Since then he keeps seeing her in dreams once in a while telling him about certain events that would happen; some of which I have personally witnessed.

The morale of the story is that this good old illiterate lady did not do much of great deeds or was famous or known to anyone except to some people of her small village in upper Egypt. Yet, she had a sound heart that enabled her to rise to such high ranks in the barzakh life and hence in jannah in shaa Allaah.

So again it is all about the heart.

Examining our own hearts now and everyday:

You want to know how sound your heart is now and everyday?
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them very honestly.

With Allaah:
How do you feel with Allaah while doing munajah? Tranquil, serene, afraid, hopeful, strange, detached, distracted or what?
How sincerely, honestly and freely can you "talk" to Him (SWT)? Can you really be yourself and express yourself while "talking" to Him (TWT)?
You can spend hours on the phone with a friend talking about your troubles, how long can you spend with your Creator (AWJ) talking about your troubles? A few seconds, minutes or hours?

With Qur'aan:
Do you read Qur'aan with your heart, or just with your eyes, tongue and lips? One of our sisters narrates that she new a Christian who very honestly once said, "Qur'aan never fails you when you read it with your heart".
How does Qur'aan affect you? Do you respond with happiness, fear, hope or contemplation according to each relevant ayah?
Do you believe what is stated in the Qur'aan more or what is in the newspapers or what you hear from your friends or read in other books?
Which is your basic source of knowledge, the Qur’aan, newspapers, what you hear from your friends, what you read in books, etc?
Are Qur'aan and Sunnah your only absolute standard points of reference?

With Qyaam:
Is it very difficult for you to do it? How frequently do you miss it? Do you have to force yourself to do it?
When 2 people are in deep love they search for each other all the time and seek each other's company all the time; especially if that is to be away from others. Is qyaam to you a daily date with your Creator that you yearn for all day long or is it a burden?

With Allaah's and His Prophet's (SAWS) orders:
"And in no way should a male believer or a female believer, when Allah and His Messenger have decreed a Command, have the choice in their Command”(TMQ, 32: 36). Do you hesitate and consult your inclinations, friends or other books when facing a clear direct command from Allaah (SWT) or His Prophet (SWAS) or do you obey immediately?

With other people:
Do you wish for them what you wish for yourself or even more? Or do you prefer yourself over everything else?
When you see one who is your "rival" at work, be it charity work or in any other work, loved by people more than you, do you envy him/her?
Do you know that Allaah (SWT) makes good people love (with no apparent specific reason) the ones He (SWT) loves?
Do you ever carry any hard feelings towards any Muslim?
How hard are you with non-Muslims who openly hurt other Muslims and display their enmity to Allaah (SWT)?
When you love or hate people do you love or hate them only for Allaah or because they are funny and attractive?

What are your priorities?
Are they arranged according to your personal preferences or to Allaah's orders?
How much do you love this life? Are you willing to sacrifice it for the "true" life in the hereafter?
How willing are you to donate money for the sake of Allaah? Do you have a constant deductible from your monthly income for the sake of Allaah in spite of all your hardships?
What does death mean to you? Are you ready to die now like you are ready to go to work now?
Are you fully aware and living the fact that you are only a very temporary visitor on this earth? Are you aware that temporary visitors do not need much provisions during their visit?


So again it is all about the heart not the amount or quality of deeds. However busy you are, doing good deeds, stop once in a while and assess your heart. See your "good" deeds are really for Allaah’s sake or they have turned into a mere habit; or even worse maintaining them to serve your ego?
Focus on your heart and work on it and Allaah (SWT) will bless your deeds and guide you to do more and to serve Him (AWJ) better.

Kindly refer to last month's little study for answers to questions regarding the sound heart.
May Allah grant us all steadfast and sound hearts.

References:
 The Noble Qur’an.
 The Prophet’s sunnah (SAWS).
 Life of the sahaba.
 Our life.
 http://forum.amrkhaled.net/old/showthread.php?t=2033

Special thanks to our sister who helped me editing the whole article.

{Quick Reflections 24} Home... 1

The meaning and concept of the word "home" for me has always been ever changing since I was a little child, until a few years ago when I finally reached the true meaning of the word. This is just like many other basic meanings and concepts that we were taught as children, and hence took for granted, that turned out to be completely different and distorted and have been so amongst most people for the past 200-500 years.

Many true and absolute meanings of words and concepts are not the ones defined by humans but are actually those defined by either Allaah (SWT) or Prophet Muhammad (SAWS).

For example we were all taught that the meaning of "intelligent" or "smart" is "displaying or characterized by quickness of understanding, sound thought, or good judgment" or someone with an IQ higher than average, above 110. On the other hand the true meaning of the word "intelligent" or "smart" as defined by Prophet Muhammad (SAWS) is, " The intelligent (one with sound thought) is the one who calls himself to account and does (noble) deeds to benefit him after death; and the feeble is the one who subdues himself to his desires and then wishes for Allaah's forgiveness (without due repentance)." [1]

For instance my physics teacher while I was in high school in Bangladesh was a Hindu. He was a very "intelligent" man as per the human definition of the word. If he is that smart at physics and makes sense out of very difficult and complicated physical concepts and equations but yet sees that a cow is holy, which does not make any sense, then he definitely is not "intelligent".

Similarly we will now analyze the meaning of the word "home" until we reach its true meaning. The reason for me remembering this issue now is that a few days ago I felt "home-sick" for a few minutes. So I had to stop and evaluate the situation in order not to let my emotions and personal inclinations take over my thinking and decision making. I had to reflect over the meaning that I had reached a few years earlier and make sure it was still valid and will not need further modifications as per my new experiences in life. Alhamdu lEllaah the latest evaluation proved that that meaning is indeed very true and remains valid until this moment in my life.

For many people who travel around a lot and do not settle down in a certain country for long for various reasons, the word "home" means their nationality, the country they were born in or sometimes where his or her parents originally come from. This also applies to people living in one country all their lives. They call it their "home-land" or sometimes just "home".

As my father was a diplomat we used to travel back and forth from Egypt to other countries never settling down in one place for more than a few years. I always felt as a stranger and wanted to go "home" once and for all. However even when I used to stay in Egypt for a while I felt as a stranger there too.

In the beginning when I tried to analyze it I thought of it in the following way. Amongst my colleagues when I was abroad I was a foreigner and when I was in Egypt I was that "strange" guy coming from abroad. Accordingly although I loved all people so much regardless of their back grounds I had so few true friends as to most my acquaintances I was a "stranger".

Accordingly I kept looking for "home" and tried to find a meaning for the word other than the one commonly known to people as I have seen for myself that it is not true.

Four years ago, after I had been in Egypt for 10 years in a row, many of my close friends, whom I believe are truly intelligent people as per our Prophet's definition of true intelligence, started immigrating to different corners of the globe. One of them had spent all his life in Egypt (and thus was much more stable than me) so I believed his judgment would be more accurate than mine. After he had settled in the USA for 2 years, got married and had kids, I asked him if he has found "home" or not yet because he too did not believe the common definition of home was true. He affirmed that he has not found it yet.

That intrigued me to actually stop and fully investigate the true meaning of "home".

First came the hadeeth, ""What would concern me about this life! My similitude and that of this life is that of a traveler who took a rest at mid-day under a shade of a tree for some time and then left it." [2] Accordingly our true "home" is not in this life which is just a journey. May Paradise be our true home, all of us.

However this did not solve the definition of a temporary "home" for this life. So I turned to how Prophet Muhammad (SAWS) identified himself and what was his "home" in this life. The hadeeth commonly narrated in this situation was, "By Allaah, I know that you are the best and dearest of Allaah's lands to Him. Had your people not expelled me, I would never have left." [3]

If you look carefully into the words of the hadeeth you will find that he (SAWS) declared very clearly that his love for the city of Makkah, (at that time it could be defined as his country) arose from the fact that it was the most beloved city (country) to Allaah. Why did his people expel him from his home "country"?! It was because he had a different "idea" and "belief". He (SAWS) chose to stick to the "idea" and "belief" when it contradicted with the "country". He never identified himself as a "Makkan". Accordingly his "home" became "Islam" where ever it is. His "home" (SAWS) is an "idea" or a "belief" where ever it is. It is not the "place" or the "people". Later on he went into war against Makkah and Makkan's. He went into war against his "country" and "people" if you wish to say. He fought for the "idea" and "belief" not for the country and people. He fought for the "truth" where ever it is and against whoever defies it be that his country or people.

Accordingly one should never identify him or herself to a certain country, nationality or people because they might be mistaken. Being born and living in a certain place should not blind us to the truth. Countries and people change but the "truth" is the same all the time. It is the "truth" that one should identify oneself with all the time. The only absolute truth that never changes with time and according to different people's inclinations is Islam, the "idea", the "belief", rather than the country or the people.

As I thought more about this I found that our belief that our "home" is our country, or any group of people we identify ourselves with, is the true reason for lack of unity amongst Muslims. One has only one predominant identity that controls one's feelings and reasoning. If you identify yourself as an Egyptian then there are non-Egyptians who hence will mater less to you. But that is not the way Allaah (SWT) wants us to think and feel. He wants us to think and feel as Muslims, full stop. No further identities or "homes" are needed.

Allaah (SWT) says, ""Was not the earth of Allah wide so that you (could) have emigrated in it?" (TMQ, 4:97). [4] Since we are the worshippers of Allaah and the earth is that of Allaah, then our "home" is the earth, all of it.

Muslims around the world will never be able to unite until they think of themselves as Muslims, full stop, with no further identities or associations. Allaah (TWT) says, "Surely this nation of yours is one nation, and I am your Lord, so worship Me"(TMQ, 21:92). [5] Since our Lord is Allaah then our home is Islam. Then, only then, we will be able to be united in one Ummah that truly worships only one God.

See how Allaah (SWT) defines the difference between true unity and true diversity, "you reckon that they are all together (as a whole), (but) (Literally: and) their hearts are diverse ; that is for that they are a people who do not consider(TMQ, 59:14)". [6]

If in our hearts we are united and see Islam as our only "home" then we are truly united. On the other hand if in our hearts we see anything else as our "home", be that a country, a place or a group of people, then we are truly diverse although we seem united under any other "flag", "name" or "identity" as per the ayah.

I pray for all of us that our "home" in this life is Islam and in the next it is al-Firdaws al-A`laa.

---

[1] « الْكَيِّسُ مَنْ دَانَ نَفْسَهُ وَعَمِلَ لِمَا بَعْدَ الْمَوْتِ وَالْعَاجِزُ مَنْ أَتْبَعَ نَفْسَهُ هَوَاهَا ثُمَّ تَمَنَّى عَلَى اللَّهِ

Good hadeeth reported by Ibn-Maajah in Sunan Ibn-Maajah page/number 4401 and narrated by shaddaad Ibn-Aws Ibn-Thaabit al-Ansaariyy.

[2] مالي وللدنيا ، ما مثلي ومثل الدنيا إلا كراكب سافر في يوم صائف ، فاستظل تحت شجرة ساعة ، ثم راح وتركها

Authentic hadeeth reported by al-Albaaniyy in Saheeh at-Targheeb page/number 3283 and narrated by Abdullah-Ibn-Abbas (RA).

[3] والله إني أعلم أنك خير أرض الله وأحبها إلى الله ولولا أن أهلك أخرجوني منك ما خرجت

Authentic hadeeth reported by Ibn-`Abdul-Barr in at-Tamheed page/number 2/28 and narrated by Abu-Hurayrah and `Abdull`ah Ibn-`Adiyy Ibnul-Hamraa'.

[4] أَلَمْ تَكُنْ أَرْضُ اللَّهِ وَاسِعَةً فَتُهَاجِرُوا فِيهَا

[5]

إِنَّ هَذِهِ أُمَّتُكُمْ أُمَّةً وَاحِدَةً وَأَنَا رَبُّكُمْ فَاعْبُدُونِ

[6] تَحْسَبُهُمْ جَمِيعًا وَقُلُوبُهُمْ شَتَّى ذَلِكَ بِأَنَّهُمْ قَوْمٌ لا يَعْقِلُونَ

{Quick Reflections 25} Home... 2

A very dear and wise freind of mine replied to this reflection and very elegantly defined "home" in one sentence that encompasses both this life and the next, jazaho ALLAAH 3ann al-Muslimeen jamee3an kull khayr. He defined "home" as, "inna lELLAAH wa inna elayhee raji`oon", ""Truly! To Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return"(Qur'aan, 2:156).

{Quick Reflections 26} Home... 3

Here is a very comprehensive reply that is very well thought out ma shaa ALLAAH by Sr Moushirah that does not agree with my point of view.
It is followed by my reply to it. :-)


Point well taken and well thought of, however, in my humble opinion, home to me is not only one place; there is the home land that I grew up in, there is the home I felt when I met my husband, there is the home I feel here in "el ghorbah" when I meet a Muslim person where we share the unity of language and religion and the most important one of all is the one that I build in both my heart and mind for my own well being (I call it my psychological home).

Once a doctor asked a patient, who was under great stress due to a trying situation: Do you feel that someone is taking care of you?
The doctor meant the patient's inner self.


There is this feeling of "Amaan" that is "attached" to the place where we grew up, people and places that became part of our psyche and events that molded us through the years. When we leave our home land, we take all of those memories with us, they give us warmth every once in a while whenever we need them so that we could have this "short vacation" away from the burden of everyday life and be able to go on.

Living in "el ghorbah" is not as easy as we could convince ourselves
that home is only in our hearts and that does it.

So, there must be a profound meaning to the word home.
According to Wikipedia: Home is often a place of refuge and safety, where worldly cares fade and the things and people that one loves becomes the focus.

There is also a mention of the psychological impact in Wikipedia:
"Since it can be said that humans are generally creatures of habit, the state of a person's home has been known to physiologically influence their behavior, emotions, and overall mental health . For example, in the introduction to the film Patch Adams, the concept of "home" is compared to the human need for peaceful sanctuary and the absence of it thus leading to restlessness. Such restlessness, as can be seen by that particular case, may lead to depression and, ultimately, to a loss of sanity.[ citation needed]"


It is ok to have this attachments and it is ok too to feel home sick. Why then would home be mentioned in the Qur'aan?
Allaah (SWT) says,


أَلَمْ تَرَ إِلَى الَّذِينَ خَرَجُوا مِنْ دِيَارِهِمْ وَهُمْ أُلُوفٌ حَذَرَ الْمَوْتِ فَقَالَ لَهُمْ اللَّهُ مُوتُوا ثُمَّ أَحْيَاهُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ لَذُو فَضْلٍ عَلَى النَّاسِ وَلَكِنَّ أَكْثَرَ النَّاسِ لاَ يَشْكُرُونَ (البقرة:243).
Have you not regarded the ones who went out of their residences and they were in thousands, wary of death. So, Allah said to them, "Die." Thereafter He gave them life. Surely Allah is indeed The Owner of Grace over mankind, but (most of 3)

فَالَّذِينَ هَاجَرُوا وَأُخْرِجُوا مِنْ دِيَارِهِمْ وَأُوذُوا فِي سَبِيلِي وَقَاتَلُوا وَقُتِلُوا لَأُكَفِّرَنَّ عَنْهُمْ سَيِّئَاتِهِمْ وَلَأُدْخِلَنَّهُمْ جَنَّاتٍ تَجْرِي مِنْ تَحْتِهَا الأَنْهَارُ ثَوَابًا مِنْ عِنْدِ اللَّهِ وَاللَّهُ عِنْدَهُ حُسْنُ الثَّوَابِ (آل عمران: 195).
Then their Lord responded to them, "I do not waste the deed of any doer among you, any male or female. The one of you is as the other (Literally: some of you from some others). So, the ones who emigrated, and were driven out of their residences, and were hurt in My way, and fought, and were killed, indeed I will definitely expiate them of their odious deeds, and indeed I will definitely cause them to enter Gardens from beneath which Rivers run." A requital from (the Providence of) Allah; and Allah has in His Providence the fairest requital
(TMQ 3:195)

الَّذِينَ أُخْرِجُوا مِنْ دِيَارِهِمْ بِغَيْرِ حَقٍّ إِلاَّ أَنْ يَقُولُوا رَبُّنَا اللَّهُ وَلَوْلاَ دَفْعُ اللَّهِ النَّاسَ بَعْضَهُمْ بِبَعْضٍ لَهُدِّمَتْ صَوَامِعُ وَبِيَعٌ وَصَلَوَاتٌ وَمَسَاجِدُ يُذْكَرُ فِيهَا اسْمُ اللَّهِ كَثِيرًا وَلَيَنصُرَنَّ اللَّهُ مَنْ يَنصُرُهُ إِنَّ اللَّهَ لَقَوِيٌّ عَزِيزٌ (الحج:40).
(Those) who have been driven out of their homes untruthfully (I.e., without right) except that they say, "Our Lord is Allah." And had it not been the repelling by Allah of mankind, some by the means of others, (Literally: some by means of some others) indeed there would have been completely demolished hermitages, and churches, and oratories, and mosques, wherein The Name of Allah is much mentioned. And indeed Allah will definitely give victory to whomever vindicates Him. Surely Allah is indeed Ever-Powerful, Ever-Mighty. (TMQ 22:40)

لِلْفُقَرَاءِ الْمُهَاجِرِينَ الَّذِينَ أُخْرِجُوا مِنْ دِيارِهِمْ وَأَمْوَالِهِمْ يَبْتَغُونَ فَضْلاً مِنْ اللَّهِ وَرِضْوَانًا وَيَنْصُرُونَ اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ أُوْلَئِكَ هُمْ الصَّادِقُونَ (الحشر:8).
It is (also) for the poor emigrants who were driven out of their homes and riches, seeking Grace from Allah and all-blessed Satisfaction, and vindicating Allah and His Messenger. Those are they who are the sincere (TMQ 59:8)

No doubt that our aim is "Dar al Baqaa", but we should make sure that when we strive for it we do that without forgetting to live our life here on earth.
(within the teachings of our religion of course:-)


كان النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم يقول : ( اللهم ربنا آتنا في الدنيا حسنة ، وفي الآخرة حسنة ، وقنا عذاب النار ) .
الراوي : أنس بن مالك - خلاصة الدرجة: صحيح - المحدث: البخاري - المصدر : الجامع الصحيح - الصفحة أو الرقم: 4522


الدنيا متاع . وخير متاع الدنيا المرأة الصالحة
الراوي: عبدالله بن عمرو بن العاص - خلاصة الدرجة: صحيح - المحدث: مسلم - المصدر: المسند الصحيح - الصفحة أو الرقم: 1467


من سره أن يبسط له في رزقه ، وأن ينسأ له في أثره ، فليصل رحمه
الراوي: أبو هريرة - خلاصة الدرجة: صحيح - المحدث: البخاري - المصدر: الجامع الصحيح - الصفحة أو الرقم: 5985

من سره أن يمد له في عمره ويزاد في رزقه فليبر والديه وليصل رحمه
الراوي: - - خلاصة الدرجة: إسناده صحيح - المحدث: الهيتمي المكي - المصدر: الزواجر - الصفحة أو الرقم: 2/75

A reply to that was:

Ma shaa Allaah, you tackled the issue very practically and realistically. However I beg to differ with you.

As per the definition you provided from Wikipedia that stresses on the psychological aspect of a home which said, " Since it can be said that humans are generally creatures of habit, the state of a person's home has been known to physiologically influence their behavior, emotions , and overall mental health." I would like to point out 2 facts.

1- Since we are creatures of habit who have a free will and supposedly well-thought choices to make then we are the ones who choose what to condition ourselves to and thus we choose our own habits and are capable to change them.

2- Allaah (SWT) says that, إِنَّ الدِّينَ عِندَ اللّهِ الإِسْلاَمُ , "Truly, the way of life with Allaah is Islam"(TMQ, 3:19). The exact meaning of the word "deen" in an Arabic/Arabic dictionary is "habit" or "way of life" and not "religion" as most TMQs mistakenly say.


According to the above 2 facts, the other ayaat you kindly provided from the Qur'aan and life experiences we have all been through, yes of course we all do have "homes" that are linked to peoples and places. However, I believe that the optimum home (which you call the psychological home) is one that should dominate over all other materialistic and emotional homes. The optimum home is one which we can train ourselves to have (as it is a matter of habit). Our optimum home is Islam the idea, the belief and the way of life. When one chooses that as his/her only home one can rise above all materialistic attachments that could weaken us. That way we become true worshipers of Allaah functioning equally effective on whatever front (regardless of people and places) Allaah (SWT) deploys us to serve at throughout our short journey through life on this earth.


Again thank you and great to hear from you.

{Quick Reflections 27} Home... 4

I received the following reflection about "home" that I believe is the best, and hence last one, in this series. It was written by a dear sister who prefers to remain anonymous. Enjoy :-)

I kept searching, for the true meaning of things. When I had a family, I kept searching for the true meaning of a family, sisters, brothers, a father, a mother, their roles, their duties and responsibilities... When I loved, I kept searching for the true meaning of love, devotion, sacrifice, giving, friendship... When I worked, I kept searching for the true meaning of work.... and because I am a perfectionist, I was always disappointed for I've never found the true meaning of the things that I searched for.

I kept searching and searching for home. I had a home, a perfect one from a worldly point of view, but not the home I feel inside. I had love and I had lots of it, but not the love I feel inside, I need an Original home, Original feeling, Original love, the Raw Material of such products. In every worldly achievement, once you reach your goal, you feel, it was nothing but a personal desire to achieve success.

Finally, after long search for the truth, I found only One Absolute True meaning, that's Allaah. Allaah is the true home, the true love, the true success, the truth of everything. Allaah is the home where you find security, intimacy and warmth and you pay nothing for having such a home but true belief that He is the home. Allaah is where you find love, unconditioned love. He does not love you because you look good, or you have a good car, or you make good money. He loves you because you are his creation, because you are what you are whatever you are, whoever you were, he loves you. Don't you love the dish you cook yourself; don't you love the dress you sew? Don't you love your son because it's a part of you? Allaah is the true success, for when you succeed to know Him, you succeed in any and every field of life.

I am not nuts neither a Sufi, but it's very healthy that we feel strange in this life. Even our Prophet (SAWS) asked us to feel strange in this life, not to feel so much involved in it's worldly concerns,
115692- أخذ رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم بمنكبي فقال : ( كن في الدنيا كأنكغريب أو عابر سبيل(. وكان ابن عمر يقول : إذا أمسيت فلا تنتظر الصباح ، وإذا أصبحت فلا تنتظر المساء ، وخذ من صحتك لمرضك ، ومن حياتك لموتك .
الراوي: عبدالله بنعمر - خلاصة الدرجة: صحيح - المحدث: البخاري - المصدر: الجامع الصحيح - الصفحة أو الرقم: 6416

Why do you think the most beloved human being to Allaah, Muhammad (SAWS), was deprived of a stable home, from his father, his mother, his uncle, his grand father, his most beloved wife Khdeeja, his sons, ... ? why? though he's the most beloved human to Allaah? to know and to let us know that there's only One entity in which you'll find the true home, love and security; simply Allaah.

It's normal that we feel that life's fake. It's normal that we feel that the home we have, the love we live, and everything around is just a blurred picture of the truth. That's because the absolute truth is too strong and too clear to be seen by us, Allaah. That's because the real meaning of things is not here, it's there in Allaah's heaven and haven. My home is where I find Allaah, is where I find my self close to Him, is where I find Him satisfied with me, this is the absolute true meaning of things and the absolute security one can ever have in life and in the hereafter.

Search for Allaah to find your home, your love, your joy, your happiness and your everlasting life in the worldly life and in the afterlife. May Allaah bless us all and allow us to search for Him the way that pleases Him, Ameen.