Value

Value is a relative concept, like time, truth, right and wrong. There is no fixed value for things, first because value can change, and second because value can be quite variable for different people. In the same sense, what may seem trivial to you can be life-saving for others. What you consider worthless can be priceless for me, and vice-versa. Even for the same person, what may be unimportant now can turn out to be very crucial later on, with the change of circumstances, change of one's opinion, or lifestyle, or any other parameter of change. You can simply realise that you were giving enormous value to something that does not deserve all this attention, just as you can discover that you have thrown away such a precious thing or person that used to belong to you.

A good example of how variable value is can be seen in the marketing strategies of new products. When a new brand of cars or mobiles, or even a new type of food entree are first introduced into the market, their prices are usually very high, just because they are new. In time, these products' price decrease, without any change in the quality or conditions governing the selling process. What actually happens is that they are first presented with a fake higher value, and after they lose the glow of being new they fall back to their real value. With more time, other technologies get to be introduced, and in spite of no deterioration in the quality of the product, it gets cheaper with time. It does not matter if this system is more reliable, or this outfit is more comfortable, what is new and fashionable will definitely be more expensive.

What drew my attention to this concept is a part of Prophet Joseph's story. When ,out of envy, his brothers threw him into the well in stead of killing him, the merchants who found him in the well decided to sell him as a slave. Because those merchants did not know the real value of the kid they found, they sold him for a very low price. They did not know that this young boy will be remembered throughout history, or that he is a Prophet and the son of a Prophet. They did not know that he will be the minister of treasury in a couple of years and save the whole country from the dilemma of the famine. Had they known how important and valuable he is, they would not have seen him with the same indifferent eye.

Some travellers came by. They sent someone to draw water and he let down his bucket. 'Good news!' he exclaimed. 'Here is a boy!'. They hid him like a piece of merchandise - God was well aware of what they did - and they sold him for a small price, for a few pieces of silver: so little did they value him. Qur'an: (12 [Joseph]: 19, 20)

Sometimes we can see things that others do not. We can hold dear to our hearts dreams, concepts, or little dear things that are silly and useless in the eyes of others. These things can be very true to us, and totally ridiculous to others. I believe that I should try to see how others view and value life, but I cannot and should not let go of my valuable things. I learnt, the hard way, that there are three things in life that we should highly esteem but we sometimes do not; dreams, principles, and people. Losing any of these invaluable three is irrecoverable. Failing to protect one's dreams, letting go of one's principles in life, or losing a dear person are grave mistakes that we do when we should know better.

I learnt that I should not lose people if I can keep them, even if they are not so dear to me, because I have seen how this loss can be painful. I learnt not to let go of my dreams even if I am the only one who can see that they are attainable, because if I lose them I will not be myself. Even if I am not destined to reach them all, they keep me going, and on the way, I reach higher places that I would not have reached without those higher aspirations. I learnt not to ridicule the dreams of others, because I know how I value mine. I learnt not to promise if I cannot keep my word, not to let go of what I believe is right even if other see this as being difficult. There will be a day when they understand, and even if they do not, it is enough for me that I can sleep with a clear conscience. The value of my dreams, of my word, or of the people I love, are simply great and grave.

Value seems to be one of those things that people will always see from a different angle. There is no right or wrong here. Yet, under-estimation and over-estimation are two mistakes that we always fall for. We can try, but will not succeed everytime, to put things in their rightful positions, to think before buying or selling, to take a moment and see; is it worth it? How many times do we ask ourselves this question? Personally, I started to include it in my routine thinking.

The Simple Things

When the world is burning with fire, when we are tested everyday as humans and as individuals, I find it soothing to pause for a second, and feel grateful for all the things we take for granted, the absence of which would break us apart, if only we know it.

For having good health and sound bodies, for the ability to see and walk, think and express ourselves.
For the sense of safeness, for the roof above our heads, for the blanket that keeps us warm, for the comfortable bed.
For being able to eat when hungry without worrying about the next meal.
For being able to live in a safe place, not worrying about our lives or the lives of our dear ones.
For being able to walk without fear, for being respected as women/men and humans.
For the quiet neighbourhood, the cosy home, the good job.
For being able to love, and appreciate the beauty of the world.
For the family and the friends.
For the knowledge and the education.
For the morals, beliefs, and principles, for the ability to sleep with a clear conscience.
For the gift of life, for the religion and the path.
For all the others things that are less obvious yet as precious.

We should be grateful.

Think a little, of any of these simple blessings. Think what would it mean to lose just one of them; losing one's home or eyesight or sense of direction, etc., how horrible that would be. Even if you do not have all these things, the fact that you are able to read this means that you are blessed with the majority of them. If one thing or the other is missing from you life, and its absence is having an effect on you, if you feel unsatisfied with your place in life, or would have wanted to live in a bigger house or have more money or whatever, let us be humbled, even every once in a while, by remembering that there are people who cannot close a door and sleep safely, and others who live under siege knowing that they could lose their lives any moment. If your children are giving you a hard time, see how others are not able to have kids of their own, and others who have lost their children while they are still alive. If you see injustice in your life, thank you Lord for not being the one who will have to live with the guilt. If your job is not satisfying all your aspirations, remember those who are begging to live. If your meal today is not the best, there are people who do die out of hunger. There are many faces for pain in the world, yet so many faces for blessings. We are surrounded by God's abundant forms of kindness, let us remember and cherish the simple things in life.

kaleidoscope

Every once in a while, you get to see a snapshot of the true magnitude of life. It varies. You could be utterly happy all the time or profoundly sad. Yet, the snapshot only allows you to see a raw truth; the reality of life.

We are lonely creatures. We are surrounded by people to keep us company in our journey through life but everything is temporary. People surrounding us are temporary. We always return to the honest snapshot, that the origin of all things is loneliness. Adam was created lonely. Eve came along to combat his loneliness. It seems that our innate strife is to continue combatting that loneliness for as long as we live. Whatever way or form, we try and keep the shadow of loneliness away from our front doors, back doors and any nooks it might seep through.

Along with an extreme fear of loneliness comes deception. In more than one way, it is another honest snapshot of life. The subtlest of all forms is self-deception. We are all guilty of it at one point of our lives or another. Creating bubbles for ourselves to live the life we seek. We truly believe the life we lead to be real and wholesome or even if unhappy we strive to create a comfort level that makes us feel satisfied. Others who know us and even those who do not, believe it. We unconsciously exude an aura of self-deception. Only God can see through to the truth and once in a while He lets us see that honest and raw snapshot of our lives.

The origin is loneliness. We have no one but Him in reality. We may comfort ourselves through deceptive means but sooner or later all things fall apart. Only then will He make us see that we truly have no one but Him.

Forgiveness; the Price of Life

O you who have believed, why do you say what you do not do? Great is hatred in the sight of God that you say what you do not do. (61 [As-Saff ]:2-3)

I wrote before about 'Embracing Change', and I preached a lot and thought that I am wise and strong enough to give advice to others. I know now that it is utter arrogance and ignorance. I thought that when change comes knocking next time that I would be ready and prepared to implement all the things I have been saying, which though seemingly right and beautiful, are definitely very hard to actually do. Very soon afterwards, I was sent a test by God, which I’ve totally failed! It was like, here you go, you talk so well, prove it! And I could not prove it, I admit. I was humbled by knowing how easy it is to talk while you are not in the midst of the struggle.

So, this time, I will not be as foolish as before, and I will descend the podium. I will not say what I cannot do. Allow me this time to talk about the concept of forgiveness, without preaching.

Forgiveness; such an easy word to say, it passes on the heart with a soothing effect that is so pleasant. It is very tempting to advise others to forgive and forget; don't we all want God to forgive our sins? Then this is a very good reason to start forgiving others ourselves. Yes, true, I agree. I kept on reading about forgiveness in the Qur'ān, and although I was very convinced, yet I still could not bring my heart to do it. A particular verse, in An-Nūr chapter (the light), moved me deeply,:
"...and let them pardon and overlook. Would you not like that God should forgive you? And God is Forgiving and Merciful." (24 [An-Nūr]:22)
However, when you have been deeply hurt, you will not find this in any way possible to do, even if you desperately seek God's forgiveness. Sometimes anger stiffens the heart and gives you an illusionary feeling of strength that allows more fire to burn inside and bitterness to fester and totally take over your thinking. With more anger, disappointment, and lack of relief, we harbour more darkness and negativity. Sometimes we choose not to forget, to keep the pain alive, we choose not to forgive, as a silent way of avenging for our wounds.

It is so sad to watch how we sometimes make the wrong choices, carrying such heavy hearts loaded with bitterness and an inability to forgive. Despite being ordinary people who are inherently good, we allow dispute to break us apart and ruin even the good memories that used to be. We start to feel paralyzed, unable to make things better, because of the great pain, wronging, and abuse we've been exposed to. Sometimes, we might wish things were not as bad as they were, yet remain crippled with our wounds. I have seen when death approaches, how every angry memory just fades away. How foolish it is when life is that short to give up on people and surrender. But when you can do nothing, when words lose their meanings and promises lose their glow, when you are the one who has been wronged, what shall you do? You will have to go on and work on your heart. If you are a strong person, you will not surrender to the destructive thought of revenge. Yet, you stand in a fork, with two paths ahead. In both roads life will go on, as it always does. So, you can either walk on thorns that you keep watering, or save yourself.

For a while, I have chosen the first thorny path. I became so different from the one I used to be, like a butterfly that cannot fly anymore after her wings had been touched. I could no longer have the ability to embrace life with open arms or be the joyous person I used to be, I felt so incomplete. Even after getting over the sense of loss, something inside seemed to have been broken. It is no more the wronging that keeps nagging; it is this precious lost part of me that hurts the most. It is when I lost trust, when beauty became colourless, because I am no longer… myself. With a New Year unfolding, I wished I could start with a clear heart that has no memory. Yes life goes on, in whatever shape or form, but even when it does go on, we continue to keep our wounds bleeding by stepping barefooted on the poisoned wreckage of our own hearts. Then I discovered that for me to lead a normal life, I have to get rid of the bitterness that is darkening my heart. It keeps growing pushing away all the light in its way, making everything looking bleak and colourless. I realized that for me to go on, I have to forgive first. I have to shatter the bitterness that is ruining me. Such darkness is smothering me, and I cannot carry it anymore. I choose to save myself. I do not want my heart to dry out. I do not want to end up with a heart of stone. I do not want Satan to win over me in this battle. I do not want any more loss.

"Has the time not come for those who have believed that their hearts should become humbly submissive at the remembrance of God" (57 [Al-Hadīd]:16)

"Then why, when Our punishment came to them, did they not humble themselves? But their hearts became hardened, and Satan made attractive to them that which they were doing." (6 [Al-An'ām] :43)

Forgiveness is very hard to reach. It takes more strength than love does. It is easy to be angry; fire can eat up a whole forest in seconds, but it takes so long to put it out, and takes much longer to grow the forest back. We should learn how to reconcile with ourselves. If others do not appreciate you, learn to appreciate yourself first. If they have wronged you, do not wrong yourself by allowing bitterness to ruin your heart. Forgive others, for your own sake; for the light to befriend your heart again, for warmth to replace coldness, for beauty to overcome ugliness. God is Merciful, yet He is Just. Nothing goes down the drain, when things are left totally for Him to judge. I have learnt that anger is not strength. What takes more courage is to conquer your fear and beat your anger; to truly believe in God's comforting light, and that He will guide us throughout the journey.

"And be patient, [O Muammad], for the decision of your Lord, for indeed, you are in Our eyes. And exalt [God] with praise of your Lord when you arise." (52 [At-Tūr]:48)

"If you pardon and overlook and forgive - then indeed, God is Forgiving and Merciful."
(64 [At-Taghabun]:14)

Three Encounters with Death

In the past couple of days, I witnessed three different encounters with Death. First, an accident that took the life of a young man in seconds, then the sudden death of an infant who choked while she was eating, and finally the death of an old man who died on his bed. Despite its different forms and disguises, death remains as the last visitor who does not fail to come to all, each at a time, in one way or another.

I wonder how my visit will be like? Unnoticed, in a blink of an eye like that young man, without a chance to say some last few words or witness in the Oneness of the Lord one last time... or suddenly after an innocent smile like that young girl, or expectantly after long long years on a cold bed like the old man...? In which state shall I meet my visitor? I wish I could be as innocent as that infant who has nothing to worry about, passing unstained. Will I have someone to pray for me, or I will be forgotten too soon as it is the pattern of life these days..?

It was time to stop for a minute and think about my position in life, where I am, what I have left behind, and what lies ahead. It is important to pause the hectic life for just a little and weigh who we are and how we are dealing with the precious gift of life, and above all, how prepared we are for the real encounter with death. While I guess it is impossible to be prepared, yet chances are born for us everyday to correct our mistakes and learn from them. Doors of light are everywhere, and darkness can always fade away and be left behind. If we only stop and think, if we seize to forget that we are not here to stay, we would not waste so many of our chances to be better people.

I hope not to be afraid when my visitor comes. I pray for an end of faith that can be a new beginning of a life without fear or pain or misery. I pray for a safe encounter, where I don't have to worry about what lies ahead.